I travel around my state and beyond sharing information and
insight about Alzheimer's disease and other dementias. I do not offer a
physician's perspective or a researcher's clues to these diseases, but
instead I give the viewpoint of a caregiver and support group leader.
These ideas have tips for support during day-to-day existence and offer
solace to the caregiver and hints to family and friends who would like
to help out but who feel inadequate, lost, or afraid.
The first and most important is to never argue - you cannot win. Just politely agree or redirect the conversation and move on. While some say this is lying, I believe that it is reality. You cannot make a confused individual come to reasoning status. When the same problem or question reappears, agree, redirect, and move on. Be respectful and state that you'll get to it in a few minutes and then repeat this over and over as necessary.
Another tip is to deal with problems without being negative. Divert attention when necessary again with the few minute idea or suggest later or tomorrow or next week. You must also learn to go along to get along and thus avoid anger and confusion. Realize that sometimes agitation happens, especially with change in routine, weather, or living conditions. Display calmness so that peace can return.
When agitation cannot be avoided, examine the situation to determine the cause so that you can skirt the situation in the future. Unfortunately you cannot always see into the future and determine probable upsets so just know that with Alzheimer's, consistency is inconsistent - every day is new. Disturbances may arrive "out of a blue moon". There might be environmental changes, perception changes, physical or mental decline, or something that cannot be defined. With time most of these melt away.
Without diagnosis and doctor's advice, the early stages of the disease can be extra frustrating and confusing, especially for spouses and family. Since Alzheimer's is an "in and out and in again" disease it is hard to pinpoint exactly what the problem is. Individuals with Alzheimer's in the early stages are good at masking a difficulty by avoiding bothersome situations. Their arguing that "everything is all right" can be easy to accept instead of seeking the truth. Sometimes even a doctor's visit can add to the confusion if s/he is not a trained gerontologist or neurologist. Verify that your physician understands problems of aging; if s/he does not, locate an elder care specialist who does.
When you make an appointment with a specialist who is trained in dementia and Alzheimer's for a thorough examination and diagnosis permit time for him/her to examine your loved one and also make sure that you have request time for just you so that you are able to ask lots of questions and receive thoughtful responses. Forgetfulness has many causes besides Alzheimer's so a proper diagnosis is important. Poor nutrition, infections, stress, depression, or medication reactions are just a few possibilities. Also check medications and medication interactions. As people age, medications react differently. It may be time for an adjustment.
Finally, be concerned about a doctor who in a casual glance concludes "Alzheimer's" without factoring the possibility of other potential problems.
The most valuable tool for caregivers, family, and friends is patience - patience - and more patience. You cannot make sense of no sense. Caregivers need to take care of themselves; it is easy to think you can handle it all but burnout is a frightening sentinel. Continue to do activities together, just know that adjustments may be required, and remember that caregivers also need to do things independently at times for peace and for health. When taking your loved one out for fun tips include avoiding dark places with loud noises, having gatherings earlier in the day when it is light and bright and skip as much confusion as possible. Maybe celebrate a birthday in small increments of people rather than a big, noisy bash.
Repetition is repetition is repetition. Nod and move on. The loved one is unaware of what has been said and so s/he may repeat it over and over. Interact with the your loved one with puzzles, activities, sorting clothes, building models, and conversing as if everything makes perfect sense. Remember what your loved one formerly loved to do and tie it into activities of today. Do not fight food issues. A healthy diet is important but arguments over it are not. Finger foods, sandwiches divided into quarters, small bites help increase food intake. If your loved one only eats ice cream, it is perfectly OK. Many older individuals develop allergies to foods like dairy products. Talk with your doctor if you notice some digestive problems.
Alzheimer's is a terrible disease but it is not contagious and it will not hurt you other than in the heart. The love and tenderness you exemplify travels beyond the tangles of the brain and while your loved one may not be able to respond in the manner in which you wish, s/he is still alive inside.
The first and most important is to never argue - you cannot win. Just politely agree or redirect the conversation and move on. While some say this is lying, I believe that it is reality. You cannot make a confused individual come to reasoning status. When the same problem or question reappears, agree, redirect, and move on. Be respectful and state that you'll get to it in a few minutes and then repeat this over and over as necessary.
Another tip is to deal with problems without being negative. Divert attention when necessary again with the few minute idea or suggest later or tomorrow or next week. You must also learn to go along to get along and thus avoid anger and confusion. Realize that sometimes agitation happens, especially with change in routine, weather, or living conditions. Display calmness so that peace can return.
When agitation cannot be avoided, examine the situation to determine the cause so that you can skirt the situation in the future. Unfortunately you cannot always see into the future and determine probable upsets so just know that with Alzheimer's, consistency is inconsistent - every day is new. Disturbances may arrive "out of a blue moon". There might be environmental changes, perception changes, physical or mental decline, or something that cannot be defined. With time most of these melt away.
Without diagnosis and doctor's advice, the early stages of the disease can be extra frustrating and confusing, especially for spouses and family. Since Alzheimer's is an "in and out and in again" disease it is hard to pinpoint exactly what the problem is. Individuals with Alzheimer's in the early stages are good at masking a difficulty by avoiding bothersome situations. Their arguing that "everything is all right" can be easy to accept instead of seeking the truth. Sometimes even a doctor's visit can add to the confusion if s/he is not a trained gerontologist or neurologist. Verify that your physician understands problems of aging; if s/he does not, locate an elder care specialist who does.
When you make an appointment with a specialist who is trained in dementia and Alzheimer's for a thorough examination and diagnosis permit time for him/her to examine your loved one and also make sure that you have request time for just you so that you are able to ask lots of questions and receive thoughtful responses. Forgetfulness has many causes besides Alzheimer's so a proper diagnosis is important. Poor nutrition, infections, stress, depression, or medication reactions are just a few possibilities. Also check medications and medication interactions. As people age, medications react differently. It may be time for an adjustment.
Finally, be concerned about a doctor who in a casual glance concludes "Alzheimer's" without factoring the possibility of other potential problems.
The most valuable tool for caregivers, family, and friends is patience - patience - and more patience. You cannot make sense of no sense. Caregivers need to take care of themselves; it is easy to think you can handle it all but burnout is a frightening sentinel. Continue to do activities together, just know that adjustments may be required, and remember that caregivers also need to do things independently at times for peace and for health. When taking your loved one out for fun tips include avoiding dark places with loud noises, having gatherings earlier in the day when it is light and bright and skip as much confusion as possible. Maybe celebrate a birthday in small increments of people rather than a big, noisy bash.
Repetition is repetition is repetition. Nod and move on. The loved one is unaware of what has been said and so s/he may repeat it over and over. Interact with the your loved one with puzzles, activities, sorting clothes, building models, and conversing as if everything makes perfect sense. Remember what your loved one formerly loved to do and tie it into activities of today. Do not fight food issues. A healthy diet is important but arguments over it are not. Finger foods, sandwiches divided into quarters, small bites help increase food intake. If your loved one only eats ice cream, it is perfectly OK. Many older individuals develop allergies to foods like dairy products. Talk with your doctor if you notice some digestive problems.
Alzheimer's is a terrible disease but it is not contagious and it will not hurt you other than in the heart. The love and tenderness you exemplify travels beyond the tangles of the brain and while your loved one may not be able to respond in the manner in which you wish, s/he is still alive inside.
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